Captured Life of Us

As I walked through the front door of my apartment I realised that it was cold and empty. deep down I know it is not because of Winter.... it is much more symbolic to me....

I think the divorce is finally hitting home and I need a change. It is hard to come home and see the empty spaces that once was filled with OUR THINGS, Things we shared and had special meaning to us both.

People might think that it is just things, but my life is defined by things. Superficial one might think, but Allow me to explain:

I am one of those people that attach special meaning and memories to things I own. I don't collect junk and I am not a pack rack. This has been a big trend world wide for a couple of generations, but I think our generation is changing due to space constraints in our living spaces. Many of us can not afford the luxury of big spacious homes and thus don't collect as much things as our parents might have done. Back to my point:

I love every item in my house and I have a …

After having a long conversation with one of my best friends I decided it is time to pick myself up from the floor. I need to dry the tears and face the sun and the outside world.

Although life had beat me down for a minute I am ready to dust myself off and start fighting again. My pscychologist says that divorce is worse than death. Death is final, but divorce is never final. We have to sometimes watch those we once loved so much live their new lives without us. Sometimes they live these new lives infront of us.

It was time for me to feed my soul. Time to put the Broken pieces of my soul together again so I can fly once more.

So I inserted a CD into the stereo and listened to music. It will talk to your soul. I got a South African Band Called Flip a Coin and Man do those Boys make you wish you can sing. This ACapella group is not only hot, their music is as well. The are my "help me get through this Terrible time band. Music has always been connected to certain times…

Well, it felt just like the other day we said I do and now I see empty spaces and boxes all over the apartment filled with memories of you and what we once were. My version of how this happened was strange just like in the movies:



One morning as I got dressed You came to me and said I can not be married to you any more and the next time I saw you your bags were packed and our bed was empty. You have left! Just like many people I believed and more than anything hoped you would return. This fairy tale was not meant to be. My Prince have left and he was off on his own sad journey.

It is amazing what happens when we get married to another. We become one and we enmesh our lives completely. We share everything, something I was never any good at and just as I got to share my life and things you leave me alone with all these empty space.



I always thought Divorce will be an easy thing just like in the movies, but I can assure any one that is considering marriage think hard befor…

Today I look around and see so many people have become cold bitter individuals and this has caused so much sadness. I am sad and mortified that there are some who are rude and harsh to other because they think they are better than the rest. Where is the grain of God left within your heart.

Why do people think when they have lots of money they have the right to treat others like dirt. The worst is that they don't even know what an impact it has on others. They wipe their feet on others like they have no feelings. Down stairs there are two men who thinks like this they look down on me like I am nothing like they have the right to treat me like I am not human.

Yesterday while walking in the City I passed a homeless women. You can see she is not a drinker but that life has hit her hard. The lines on her face tells of things I have not yet seen or experienced. It tells of loneliness and of a merciful God. Then I ask why God why so much pain. But all I hear is silence and then…

Liewe Heer

Die wereld is vuil en seer. Vrae wat draai en swaai soos 'n mengelmoes in my kop.

Vrae van Waarom en hoekom? Wanneer kom hier by my sit sodat ek kan verstaan wat gaan aan in die werled vol vuil en seer. Die Wereld wat U geskep het met Woorde uit U mond. Sal ons menslike brein dit ooit kan besef.

Ek sit hier en bewonder die bloue-bloue lug en die wit wolke wat soos watte hang daar bo in die lug. Ek dink Hoe Groot is U!!!!!

Ek dink tog weet ek U is iewers daar bo.

Die blare van vuurwarm oranja val van die akkerboom en ek besef weer U grootheid. Ek Besef weer hoe klein ek werklik is en dat U grootheid nooit deur enige wetenskaplike bepaal sal kan word nie.

Ek kyk na 'n seuntjie wat hardloop oor die gras na sy pa se oop arms en dink hoe U met U ope arms na ons staan en wag al draai ons weg U sal daar bly wag.

Liewe Heer ons wereld is vuil en seer......

On my way to work I saw something that touched me deeply. It moved my soul......

A man was begging on the street. The board around his neck said "Please Help! I do not have a job and have a family to support". If you know south Africa this is not a new thing every street corner in the city is littered with boards and people like this. But Today I looked at this in a whole new perspective. Just across the street their where men playing golf on the golf estate. I thought to myself well this is ironic. They are living the life while this man across from them is begging to survive. Not even noticing him standing here....

Alanis once said "well isn't it ironic don't you think....????" That those words would have new meaning many years later that she wrote in a song many years before. I wondered where did this mans journey start and how did it come to this. "How can God allow this to happen?" I thought. Maybe he just fell and forgot to sta…

Sometimes we loose our way and dwell back into the past. It's yesterday again.....

We find ourselves lost and alone in a forest of memories. The forest always seems to me like something out of a fairytale. What we should remember is that no matter what, as long as we stay focused we will find our way back to the light to today.

The past should stay in the past and the present is what matters. Many times I remember from the past the future is born and we should find the sweet in the bitter. When we see the silver lining and take what we learned and apply it in the present we can grow to be big strong people.

The problem is when we stay stuck in the dark woods of things that came from the past we don't grow but wither away to nothing.

Many Times I have wondered what if I didn't know this person or what if this hasn't happened to me, but then I stop breath and look around to see my footprints deeply in crested in the past has contributed to my future. It's yesterday …