Captured Life of Us

I woke up this morning feeling alive... I met someone: a breath of fresh air... he swept into the dark parts of my soul... a stranger I now call a prince...

A pain lie awake deep within the heart of my soul. The truth unfolds and I feel like I am losing control... Searching the ground for the answers I have been longing for...

I found a place I want to be... Not wishing I was 20 just wishing I had been free... he made me realise it was time to jump. I had to stop being so afraid of who I am... Who have I become?

I feel so numb...

One can never be truly happy if you don't accept and love yourself first... Something so simple I have always known, but only see now what has been in front of me all along...

It took a stranger to make me realize this... This is why Nix.. we believe in fate and destiny my friend... Nothing just happens... There is a bigger plan... Crysanne, Andrea & Natalia you know what I mean and Jeanny there is a reason why I now think of you as Family... It's for …

Throughout life there are things that we desire to do....

@ 17

- I wanted to be famous: a supermodel, a movie star or a famous singer... I craved the lime
light..
- I wanted a dad that cared and one that knew I existed...
- I wanted God to accept me being gay...
- I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the arms of my soul mate...
- I wanted to go to New York...
- I wanted to be different...
- I wanted someone to love and someone that loved me....

@ 17 I wanted to take over the world...
... I wanted to be wild and free...

@ 25

- I wanted a career and a Doctored Degree...
- I still wanted a dad that loved me...
- I wanted a guy that didn't cheat on me or one that will leave me for a girl...
- I wanted to go back to New York and be free...
- I wanted the boy back I met in the bar that loved me... he still has a still reminder of me...
- I wanted to be closer to my BFF's
- I wanted not to be gay, but Classic and Timeless...

@ 25 I just wanted…

While I was drifting off to sleep last night I remembered 20 something....

The dream was vivid, but so surreal.... I was happy, yes truly happy for the first time.... I caught myself thinking where did I go wrong....

In the dream:

I woke up to the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

He was watching me while I was sleeping. He had a slight smile on his face. Although there was no clear outline to his face I remember it to be kind. He had deep eyes that could see right through my soul and deep into my heart. His face was kind and his love for me was written all over his smile. I instantly knew who he was. He laid there looking at me and I felt we could speak to each others soul without uttering a word.

The smell of his skin was a mixture of a fresh ocean breeze and mint. It was fresh and unique and I suddenly craved sunlight on my face. He stretched out his arms and dragged me into his warm embrace. As we laid spooning I tried to remember when ever did I feel so safe and …

Remembering: it can be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing.

While going through the cupboards today I came across my box of memories. The box was dusty and filled to the brim with pictures of things that was sleeping in the past. I couldn't help to smile when taking some of the memories out. They came to life and Memories came to dance across my bedroom floor.

It was good memories..... memories of people that meant something to me and made my life colourful....

Woke up to this beautiful spring morning in the city with a strange feeling, I am not sure what this feeling means, I feel like I am on the edge of something.... We've all been there right?

This past week I have truly been inspired by my friends and their words of wisdom.... It has made me believe in myself again and who I can be if I don't give up on myself and Life. My Hope was drowning, but I found it floating once more on the surface of life.

Kelly Rowland have a song out called "When Love Takes over" that she wrote too all those that have been waiting on love. She sings: "It's Complicated, it always is, that's just the way it goes. Feels like I waited so long for this. I wonder if it shows. Head underwater, I can't breath. It's never felt so good. When love takes over......"

What an awesome song!!!!! When love is right and when drowning in it, it will feel so good. This will only come when you have faith in Love and remember it doesn&#…

Got a wonderful breath of fresh air when one of my best friends called me this morning.

She read me a very special letter from someone most of us would dare to call our true love or our Prince Charming. Each word in this letter left me breathless for a second: They were deep and form his Soul. The letter described a part of his soul few has seen.

While catching my breath I could not help wonder how many of us have lost the plot by settling for just anyone and anything. We are taught that we should settle for second best because it is okay or that we might not get a second chance, but in actual fact it is not. We all deserve to have bliss....

To have someone to Love and to be Loved in return..... Some where out there, there is someone also thinking about you, like you are thinking of them. Just take a chance and wish upon a star.
You might have passed them on the street a million times or they might have wished for you across the sea.

You will not know until your souls have met.…

As I walked through the front door of my apartment I realised that it was cold and empty. deep down I know it is not because of Winter.... it is much more symbolic to me....

I think the divorce is finally hitting home and I need a change. It is hard to come home and see the empty spaces that once was filled with OUR THINGS, Things we shared and had special meaning to us both.

People might think that it is just things, but my life is defined by things. Superficial one might think, but Allow me to explain:

I am one of those people that attach special meaning and memories to things I own. I don't collect junk and I am not a pack rack. This has been a big trend world wide for a couple of generations, but I think our generation is changing due to space constraints in our living spaces. Many of us can not afford the luxury of big spacious homes and thus don't collect as much things as our parents might have done. Back to my point:

I love every item in my house and I have a …