Captured Life of Us

While turning over in my dream I saw you where there once again....

At first I thought it was a ghost from my past, but when I saw your smile I realised it could only be you. The smell of mint and a fresh ocean breeze that flooded the room brought me back to the first night I met you in my dreams...

As you reached out to touch my face you said "I missed you.."

I replied and said "I have given up on you..." The hope of you coming one day to save me was fading away. I slowly drifted off and away from you...

Your face turned to a frown and you whispered softly "do not let go I am still around watching and waiting for you.... One day I will fetch you..."

My thought for today is:

What have you done this year even today for someone else?

I am talking about doing something for someone without expecting something back. I Have thought about this. The year is nearing it's end and the Christmas decorations are filling the entrances of the shops. Have I done enough for some stranger and My friends?

I am not talking about money or gifts, No I am talking about Love, a generous smile or even just a hug or a quick prayer for someone Standing on the side of the road asking for your help.

Just a thought.... Have I done enough?

She reminded me of those I once loved. I saw the memories came to life in the moonlight.

I remembered finding you at Apartment 2B. You said you would not come back and you turned and walked away from me..... You asked for your love back... I begged you to stay, but you said it was too late... Then I said no more.... Solemnly I drift off too sleep....

There is a day for each of us to have heart ache. For some of us it will feel like a lifetime and for others it will feel like just yesterday. No one can escape this thing called heartbreak.... We all have a need to love someone and be loved back. The 'Someone' that fills your life with joy and peace.

... the wind brings me a reminder of fresh mint and an ocean breeze and I can hear your heart call for mine. I feel like I can't breath.... Alice says I should not look out for you 'cause I can loose it all, but I am reminded that Alice comes from Wonderland and do not understand me....

Feels like I could fall...

.....Alice a…

Betrayal is the worst thing I have experienced and 2009 was the year I have really had my fair share of those that have betrayed me.

Trust is overrated and I only trust my Family and Friends now.... I had to learn the hard way.... I see things differently. Everyday I see how other steal form the innocent and prey on those who are weak and innocent. We have become so desensitised....

I have spoken to my psychologist and she says that there are always a reason why people betray others. "One does not just hurt another for no good reason. When looking closer one will find a clear motive."

What these individuals do not realise is that the day will come when they are betrayed and I have faith in that. Faith that they will see what I mean....

I have nothing more to say....

I woke up with a strange feeling today: I have changed and this time it is for good. I will not be part of this dirty old town.... I have found faith, Faith in me...

Outside my Glasshouse Windows I see the world go by. They don't see me scream and cry. I storm out to the balcony and start to scream.... Can you hear me?

People who live in glasshouses shouldn't cast stones, they will end up breaking much more than just the glass.... You can change the way things are. You can change who you are, but be careful of who you become it always leaves a scare....

My friend Nix and I always feel change coming. It is like the rain coming: you can smell it in the air. It brings with it a freshness, newness and LIFE only those who love and understand you will understand.... You just got to have faith. Believe in what you can do.

Deep in the heart of my dark soul a pain lay awake. It is constant and it never withers away too long. Many year have gone by since this pain was affl…

I woke up this morning feeling alive... I met someone: a breath of fresh air... he swept into the dark parts of my soul... a stranger I now call a prince...

A pain lie awake deep within the heart of my soul. The truth unfolds and I feel like I am losing control... Searching the ground for the answers I have been longing for...

I found a place I want to be... Not wishing I was 20 just wishing I had been free... he made me realise it was time to jump. I had to stop being so afraid of who I am... Who have I become?

I feel so numb...

One can never be truly happy if you don't accept and love yourself first... Something so simple I have always known, but only see now what has been in front of me all along...

It took a stranger to make me realize this... This is why Nix.. we believe in fate and destiny my friend... Nothing just happens... There is a bigger plan... Crysanne, Andrea & Natalia you know what I mean and Jeanny there is a reason why I now think of you as Family... It's for …

Throughout life there are things that we desire to do....

@ 17

- I wanted to be famous: a supermodel, a movie star or a famous singer... I craved the lime
light..
- I wanted a dad that cared and one that knew I existed...
- I wanted God to accept me being gay...
- I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the arms of my soul mate...
- I wanted to go to New York...
- I wanted to be different...
- I wanted someone to love and someone that loved me....

@ 17 I wanted to take over the world...
... I wanted to be wild and free...

@ 25

- I wanted a career and a Doctored Degree...
- I still wanted a dad that loved me...
- I wanted a guy that didn't cheat on me or one that will leave me for a girl...
- I wanted to go back to New York and be free...
- I wanted the boy back I met in the bar that loved me... he still has a still reminder of me...
- I wanted to be closer to my BFF's
- I wanted not to be gay, but Classic and Timeless...

@ 25 I just wanted…