Captured Life of Us

Somewhere in my heart's content I can hear a calling. A Calling so strong it is calling me to listen. It is still and faint, but I know I need to listen carefully.

In the last past couple of weeks I have only been drifting on the ocean called life. At times I felt like sinking away to the depths, but then Hope and Friends have pulled me to the surface asking me to stay afloat.

A great sadness washed over me as the women at the sheriffs office handed me my divorce degree. The reality of it all hit me like a thunder bolt and for a moment I felt I can not breath. Divorce is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done.

In the distance I hear the voices calling me... I can feel change coming.... Coming to free me.....

I can not figure out why people keep on betraying me.....

I have done nothing to hurt them, but every time I turn my back these people stab me yet again. I have never felt so hopeless and overwhelmed by my situation. I wished that I never knew these people. My friends I feel so alone....

I have always been a firm believer that what you do to other will be done too you. There are many things to be said about me, but the one thing I am sure of is that I have always tried not to purposefully hurt another living thing.

These people act like fools and they play these foolish games not thinking that they might distroy anothers life.... But I am reminded I got to have faith, faith that the truth will set me free.....

Somewhere in the distance I hear God's Voice calling me....

To be honest my friends I have stopped to serve God, because I was so angry and bitter towards him. I felt that I have been cursed with a life of sorrow and pain. I kept asking God why Can't you see that I am crying....

You seemed so distant, like a star in a distant Galaxy unable to see or touch me...

God did you forget about me?

So the walls came tumbling down and I made a choice not too serve Him anymore. I saw the world go by and before I knew I didn't want to try anymore. God was so far away and in the darkest night I could not see His light. This was the secret I kept locked away in the deepest part of my soul...

It is strange living without God: The world and all it's material things stopped to matter too me and I felt empty and the greatest sadness. I could not find rest and my dreams was overrun with nightmares.

The world is so quick to judge: in one hand they offer sin and in the other …

While turning over in my dream I saw you where there once again....

At first I thought it was a ghost from my past, but when I saw your smile I realised it could only be you. The smell of mint and a fresh ocean breeze that flooded the room brought me back to the first night I met you in my dreams...

As you reached out to touch my face you said "I missed you.."

I replied and said "I have given up on you..." The hope of you coming one day to save me was fading away. I slowly drifted off and away from you...

Your face turned to a frown and you whispered softly "do not let go I am still around watching and waiting for you.... One day I will fetch you..."

My thought for today is:

What have you done this year even today for someone else?

I am talking about doing something for someone without expecting something back. I Have thought about this. The year is nearing it's end and the Christmas decorations are filling the entrances of the shops. Have I done enough for some stranger and My friends?

I am not talking about money or gifts, No I am talking about Love, a generous smile or even just a hug or a quick prayer for someone Standing on the side of the road asking for your help.

Just a thought.... Have I done enough?

She reminded me of those I once loved. I saw the memories came to life in the moonlight.

I remembered finding you at Apartment 2B. You said you would not come back and you turned and walked away from me..... You asked for your love back... I begged you to stay, but you said it was too late... Then I said no more.... Solemnly I drift off too sleep....

There is a day for each of us to have heart ache. For some of us it will feel like a lifetime and for others it will feel like just yesterday. No one can escape this thing called heartbreak.... We all have a need to love someone and be loved back. The 'Someone' that fills your life with joy and peace.

... the wind brings me a reminder of fresh mint and an ocean breeze and I can hear your heart call for mine. I feel like I can't breath.... Alice says I should not look out for you 'cause I can loose it all, but I am reminded that Alice comes from Wonderland and do not understand me....

Feels like I could fall...

.....Alice a…