Captured Life of Us

My Best Friend Andrea inspired me to write on my blog today....For a month now I have been wondering what will I write about on my blog apart from my divorce and then when speaking to Andrea I realised it was time to talk about the future...

At the end of last year I made a list of all the things I have achieved during 2009 and then it dawned on me that despite the awful year I had with people. I had achieved a lot even if some things were small.

This year I have decided to make smaller goals and I can achieve monthly and then I also have bigger goals I can achieve in the year. The important thing was not to come to the end of 2010 and feel I have achieved nothing.

I have decided one of my main goals this year is to be a better human being. I want to mean something to others and just no anything really mean something. Now that My divorce is final I feel a new day has dawned and I can breath. I can be a blessing to others. I will be a better friend to my friends this year and I intend…

... I thought he was the one... Photos scattered all around....


While sorting through the boxes of my life I came across a picture of the boy I once loved. When he left I wiped away any evidence of our life together, but some how this picture managed to hide away. I remembered that he was kind and I hoped he would be the one I would spend my life with. Unfortunately Life would not have it so.... My heart instantly filled with a longing and questions on how he was: Was he happy?... and if so... did he ever think of me? When checking on him I saw that he was doing just fine....
The day he left I said to him that I will surely never stop loving him and will wish him all of the best.... I see now that He has found Love, Life and Happiness.... I remembered how happy I once was just watching him drift of to sleep....
When looking at his photos I could see that I left my fingerprints in his life and they are still visible too me aft…

As I was getting on the freeway to join the endless stream of cars I noticed something that made the world stop for a brief moment. Enlightenment I like to call it.....

The freeway was like life we are all going the same way, but none of our destinations are the same. Some of us gets frustrated with our lives just like when we get stuck on the freeway. If you persevere the traffic of life will sort its self out and we will move forward closer to our destiny....

We all have a destination I believe: For some of us the road is short and with little problems and for others the road is long and frustrating. No one knows why this is.... It is just the way it is... It is important to find HOPE floating on the surface of life.... You should cling to it....

Nothing is chance, it all has a meaning in the grand scheme of things.

Can not believe that it is the 1st of December and Christmas is but 24 days away...

While passing the shop windows in the mall I could not help but notice that Christmas seems to be toned down a lot here in South Africa. One can see that the Recession has left it's scares. It is almost as if Christmas is hiding away. But in an instant I remember Christmas is not about sales and money. That is how we have changed it. Christmas is suppose to be about Giving, Sharing, reaching out and Family....

I remember my first white Christmas in New York. I felt like a small kid standing at each shop window on 5th Ave staring at all the beautiful decorations they had put on display. My house was covered in a blanket of snow and the smell of freshly baked cookies filled the rooms, making them warm and inviting. The tree was decorated with the most beautiful ornaments and the gifts was resting under the green pine tree.

I thought this is how Christmas is suppose to be.... White, Red, Silver and Gol…

The alarm rings in my ear and I open my eyes to find it is the day of my divorce... Turning over in bed I feel my stomach turning... There is no turning back..... The finality has arrived to greet me for breakfast... It's yesterday again....
The word Forever means: Eternity, a life time or Everlastingly. This is what one promises another the day you get married. For some of us these words are true when spoken, but to others this is only but a wish....
At 29 I never thought I would be standing at the Court waiting to be called before the judge to hear him say: "You are divorced."....I became another number.... What I can not figure out is how we ever got to this point Called: No return..... We were once Happy and in love and now, Now we are just: two People ready to move on with our lives...
I do not regret being married to my husband, What I do regret is how we ended. I was maybe hoping too much for the fairy tale ending. I am quickly reminded that fairy tales are only in a…

Today when standing at the bottom of the staircase I looked and saw only empty space... For some reason I felt incredibly sad... My life that was once on display was now in Boxes all stored away...

...and then the memories came to dance silently over the floor. I remembered the way the house use to be and how at home it felt here in Apartment 5B. The way visitor's was welcomed into my space I called Home... I suddenly remembered it all so clearly... I thought: Will I ever learn?

Willem came to sit on my lap... When gazing into his big green eyes I could see that he knew how I must feel leaving this place we both once called our own...

It was time to close another chapter in this wonderful book called "Life: this is how it is suppose to be." My friend Nix taught me that one must never regret the past since it is exactly where we were suppose to be and that created the future where we are now....

So Life lets go....

Today while driving through a very impoverish area of the city I realised how lucky I am. I am always complaining about suffering when these people suffer even more than me and there are people suffering even more than them.

The houses and buildings looked like the Old: tired, full of wrinkles and bent by the burdens they had to carry. You can see they had better years.

I took the time to listen to the hearts of these people beating. At first they were Beating in the distance and then their beating became loud and clear. They spoke of needs: a need to be noticed and loved, a need to be touched, a need to be given Hope.....

I saw a girl that looked like life has beaten her down. She came to my car and asked if she could look after it while I was in the shops. Her smile was sincere and her heart was full of hope. I wanted to say You will be ok, just don't loose hope, but I could not utter the words. Every where I turned I saw people waiting on the sun to shine once more.

I realised alth…